December 31st 2019. New Year’s res: Have an adventure.
So I did. I moved to Jersey in January. It was all going to be very easy;
lovely work, people and communities I could picture myself getting
involved in, easy to get home to the UK and London’s theatre and
galleries a flight away...... It’s funny how life has different ideas!
And the truth is, in my experience, life’s ideas are interesting, tho’ often
daunting at the time.
Look I’m not going to pretend that having no access to my daughter,
parents and friends has been easy, it hasn’t, it’s been hard on my heart.
I’ve missed the little things, moments that happen when you’re part of
the everyday rather than on a visit where there’s that intense desire to
drain the best out of every minute, which is frankly exhausting on all
involved and often ends in a row or migraine. But we spoke most days,
made the best of it and August was the month that I got to hug them.
Being in a new place in those initial months of lockdown meant ideas
of meeting people and joining groups were off the cards so I spent my
time walking. I’ve discovered little coves and sprawling beaches, fought
against the Jersey wind and eaten too much ice cream. I have fallen in
love with this beautiful island and feel that I know the little part I inhabit
I worked through lockdown. I am thankful for that. My work is fun and
I’m always talking with interesting people. I discovered I am happier to
share things about me than I thought I would be and honestly talking
seems to be a tonic for tough times - it has to genuine tho’ if it’s not I
notice it has a draining effect.
Through lockdown and social distancing, I have felt: lonely, anxious,
sad, joy, love, hope, worry, nervousness, wonder and also bloody tired.
There I admit it, it’s been a roller-coaster!
At this back end of 2020 I’m healthier, fitter, more environmentally
engaged, I can meditate sort of, my tennis is... no it’s still crap but it
continues to make me happy, I’m better at being me than I have been
in a very long time, hopefully some of that might stick....of course it
might not but that’s just life!